BREAKING: BROADSTREET JAGS COLLUDE WITH KELCEJACULATE TO DRAFT FROM MULTIPLE POSITIONS DURING SAME DRAFT, INVESTIGATION PENDING, ASTERISK ENSURED
Fantasy Dingo
The subject of the investigation, asleep.
SAN ANTONIO: Aug. 25th, 2018
The TTIG draft hit all new lows today in San Antonio, Texas, as Adam Risman, owner of the Broadstreet Jags franchise, and Kyle Ayers, owner of the Kelcejaculate franchise, colluded to draft as essentially a single team from multiple positions.
The trade between the teams is yet to be announced or declared. This decision essentially caused the Jags and Kelce to be able to communicate throughout the draft and decide how to build two super teams across multiple positions and draft opportunities.
Speaking after the draft had immediately concluded, SMTHRD, CVRD and FCKD stated, "Fuck the Jags," and "Leanne should leave him."
The Broadstreet Jags offered a simple, "There was no collusion," before walking away anxiously and playing with a pretend skateboard.
Casey Biggs, owner of the Creme franchise, asked for further investigation into the commissioner's role in the affair. "We need to know what Andrew Ewbank knew and didn't know, and when he did and didn't know it."
The commissioner refused to comment at this time.
More to come.