Rook Rank: Week 1

Which young studs will put up enough points and bang enough boards on a bad team to crack your starting lineup? Each week, Fantasy Dingo contributor and raging Marcin Gortat fan Adam Risman lights the stove under the league’s new blood and CRANKS UP THE HEAT with this power poll.

A Low Boil

9. Nick Stauskas, Guard, Sacramento Kings

Has everyone seen the video of this guy’s draft day call? Vivek says Stauskas rocks, so how can he not crack the pre-season rankings? Sactown is in a serious playoff drought (8 years), but Nicky is about to rain threes in northern Cali like a storm in the Amazon. This guy is Jimmer if you subbed the Mormon mission experience for an affinity with Canadian bacon. Get him while he’s hot.

8. KJ McDaniels, Guard-Forward, Stinkadelphia 76ers

Who?! That’s the reaction to nearly every player on the roster in Tank City. This sneaky 2014 second-rounder is actually starting for this “NBA” team, and he opted for a strange contract that gives him every incentive to light up the hardwood. KJ even recorded four COUNT’EM four swats against the pesky Nets in his final preseason game. He could be an early rookie riser this season.

7. Dante Exum, Unknown Guard Position, Utah Jazz

Will he play on the ball or off the ball? Is his coach still partying late into the night with coeds like his days manning the bench at Mizzou, or will he be able to provide Dante with the leadership he needs to find his way deep in the Rocky Mountains? I have absolutely no idea, but I can tell you that the editor-in-chief of this fantastic website will be watching…and would not have published this list had Dante been omitted. 

Heating Up

6. Douglas McBuckets, Forward, Chicago Bulls

Take a look at the Chicago Bulls depth chart, and you’ll spot former Duke student-athlete Mike Dunleavy in the starting small forward spot. Do you really think that will last more than a week with Dougy Fresh breathing Ice Breakers-scented air down the back of Dunleavy’s neck? The 2014 National College Basketball Player of the Year will be pelting the opposition from downtown. Picture this: the artist formerly known as D-Rose drives into Noah’s arc and dishes to Dougy in the corner. Swish city. Just typing those last few sentences convinced me to select the Bulls as one of my five League Pass teams.

5. Andrew Wiggins, Guard-Forward, Minnesota Timberwolves

Why is the number-one pick only number five on this pre-season countdown? Look, I LIKE this Minnesota team. I am READY to run the Wolves. BUT, this squad will make its bread and butter bangin’ those boards with Pek, Thad Young, and Anthony “I’m really not that fat anymore” Bennett. Wiggins will get some easy buckets on the break from Tricky Ricky Rubio, but will also be asked to defend the opposition’s best wing player each night. Do expect him to run out of gas as the season drags on. Don’t expect him to develop a reliable jumper in year one.

4. Marcus Smart, Point Guard, Boston Celtics

This guy reminds of those 12 pit bulls that were confiscated from the home of rapper DMX. Smart is aggressive, feisty, fiery, physical — and will bark at opponents and fans alike! Seriously! Just ask that racist Texas Tech fan. Rondo broke his hand on a trampoline, so this is Smart’s show for the time being. And for that brief window after Rondo gets back and before he gets traded to the Knicks (spoiler alert), you’ll see him starting at the two when Avery Bradley inevitably does not live up to his $32 million ARE YOU KIDDING ME contract. 

Seriously Scorching

3. Nerlens Noel’s knees, Center, Stinkadelphia 76ers

Remember this guy!? He absolutely dominated summer league (or as we call it, the only league where you’ll see the 76ers try to win games). Yes, so did Dwight Buyks in 2013 (who?), Josh Selby in 2012 (anyone seen him since?), Anthony Randolph in 2009 (dat potential tho), and … okay, you get the picture. The difference here: this guy can really BANG! Plus, he rocks a hi-top fade haircut! Brandon Jennings also rocked one during his rookie year and magically threw up 55 points. Big hair means big things, people.

2. Elfrid Payton, Point Guard, Orlando Magic

Speaking of big hair and making magic, this hot pick for ROY honors has a serious afro and stud-like skills. Payton is surround by shooters (Channing Frye, Evan Fournier) and lob catchers (fellow rook Aaron Gordon, Mo’ Money Mo’ Harkless), so his assist potential is as high JR Smith while visiting Denver. At 6’3 he’s got the size to take on attacking guards and score on smaller ones. Plus, Payton carries the “no one recruited me out of high school and now I’m going to stick it to everybody” attitude that Damian Lillard evoked during his rookie campaign. Owners, get you some.

1. Jabari Parker, Forward, Milwaukee Bucks

As the third lowest-scoring team in the NBA last season, the future Seattle Supersonics, err, Bucks put up 95.5 points per game. Point 1: There really is no way they could be worse than that with Giannis in year two and Kareem Abdul Jabari Parker on the roster. Point 2: Someone has to score points on this team — SOMEONE — and at this point, hours before the season begins, Parker looks to be that guy. A 20 point, 7 rebound, 3 assist, 2 steal, 1 one block stat line is play on the reg. Also, don’t discount the fact that this guy was drafted after Wiggins. Coach Kidd will have him in F U mode on a night-by-night basis. Parker is must-watch, must-own basketball for fantasy owners this season.